Introductions with Yolanda Owens

We're closing out the year by kicking off Season 3 of Circle Time! In this episode, we are excited to introduce you to our new cohost, Yoland Owens.  We chat a bit with Yoland about her journey and what inspired her to join Circle Time. We'll also be discussing our plans for the upcoming season.

As always, thank you for joining for another episode of Circle Time. Be sure to check the show notes for additional tips and tricks, and subscribe to Circle Time on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. Circle Time is a product of SproutFive, a nonprofit that since 1922 has been working to reimagine early education. You can learn more about our work at sproutfive.org. 

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Transcript

Colin: 0:00

Welcome to Circle Time, a podcast or we dive deep into all things little over the first five years, exploring the joys and challenges of parenting and early education. Each week, host Colin and Yolanda will bring you insights and advice from experts in the field, as well as stories and tips from parents just like you. Whether you're a new parent and experienced educator, or somewhere in between, you'll find something of value in each of these discussions. Tune in and let's gather round for Circle Time. Hey, Yolanda.

Yolanda: 0:31

Hey, Collin.

Colin: 0:32

I'm super excited to have a co-host for season three, and there's a ton of reasons for that one, because I think we're going to do some cool stuff and have some great dialogue, but also because I see Circle Time taking a really interesting turn for a couple of reasons. One, I think we've had some really awesome conversations with great researchers, but frankly conversations are really geared towards teachers, and I think there's some awesome work we could do with parents. And I know it translates a little bit, but I think having you around the table here, we'll expand on that conversation. But also I'm starting my journey to parenthood, which is really exciting. And I don't even know what I'm in for. So I think as season three, develops not only were you going to talk to some cool folks like we have in the first two seasons of Circle Time, also have some dialogue back and forth with ourselves as co-hosts here for season three, but you'll be able to ask all those questions and laugh at my journey into parenthood because for as much as I think, I know I also don't.

Yolanda: 1:34

I get it. I'm beyond honored to be a part of this ongoing conversation with you, Colin. Both as a mom, as a community member and as an advocate so I'm just super excited to be with you on this journey. Both in the growth and the transitioning of Circle Time, but then also watching this journey of you becoming a new parent, because that's always really exciting. Because we have ideas of what we think that we will do, and we have all these rules and things in our head. And then when we actually come down to that space and when we are in the moment, sometimes all of that really cool theoretical stuff that we've learned in school goes out the window.

Colin: 2:12

Yeah, so we've talked a little bit off mic, but the way I think the season's going to work and we'll share with everyone listening here is we'll have some preassigned episodes that we plan on doing. We'll bring in guests like we have with Dr. Shayne Piasta and Dr. Denny, but we also will just react to the world and kind of life of parenting and life in the classroom and we'll flex from there. And before we get too far in the conversation, I was hoping you could tell us a little bit more about yourself, but then also your family and your kiddos and your parenting experience and journey.

Yolanda: 2:49

Yeah so I, always tell people I'm a homegrown Buckeye, Right. And So I grew up in Columbus, actually on the south side of Columbus and I'm a product of Columbus City Schools a proud product of Columbus City Schools. And I thought I was going to get away multiple times and get out of Columbus, having grown up here and ended up. Getting probably the most scholarship money and scholarship funds from OSU. And so that kept me here and going to undergrad there. And after. Graduating from there. I ended From one of my really good friends. In college. She and I became roommates after we graduated and her, One of her really close friends from high school. kept Hanging out at our apartment. all the time. And I was like, This guy won't go away. Why is he always here? Every time we have a get together or even sometimes she would cook dinner on Sundays. He would come over and I'm like, why is he here? Because he likes you And so I was like, okay, great. I ended up learning more about him and found out that he wasn't from here. He was from Pittsburgh. So I was like, great. This is my out. I'm going to move to Pittsburgh. And go to grad school. And he was like, I'm never moving back to Pittsburgh. Next thing I know, he convinced me to to get married and move To the suburbs, which was weird.

Colin: 4:02

Cause

Yolanda: 4:02

I thought I would always, at least be, the city girl. And so now I'm, the. Quintessential, like I live in the suburbs and we have the two kids and a dog in the house with a fence. And. So it was like, again, like I said, when you think you have this plan in your head of how you think that things are going to be, and then when you get there, the plane just totally goes out the window. Based on your feelings or things that are happening in that moment. But. Really happily married for. A little over nine years and we have two awesome little humans. A seven-year-old who was in second grade and a four year old who is in preschool. And so that's a lot of fun, just. Seeing the world through the eyes of another person. Totally blows my mind and it actually teaches me. Every single day when I'm approaching things. Sometimes in the way that I've grown up and seen things happen in the world. That. Because they are there. their minds are so fresh in their minds have not been, I don't want to say jaded, but haven't been molded. By things that they've seen in the

Colin: 5:01

the world.

Yolanda: 5:02

they're seeing it from a totally different perspective and it helps me to learn how I approach things. or, you know what maybe you're right. And, sometimes if I get angry in traffic and I'm yelling at someone. And then my daughter's maybe they're not having a good day. And I'm You're right. They might, you know what they might cause you have bad days too. You're right. You're right. Yeah. So that new perspective is super huge, but

Colin: 5:22

Being

Yolanda: 5:22

to be a mom to them is probably what am I. Greatest accomplishments, I think, which is. I got it. I got a lot of really cool things that I think that I have done. I've worked at some amazing nonprofit organizations here in Columbus. And working a lot and food access and resource access to folks here in central Ohio, working with. Moms. With breastfeeding moms with black lactation circle here in central Ohio. Heck I was even able to do a Ted talk in 2020, and that was really. Cool, but I was like, it still does not top. Being mom to these really awesome humans. And being able to have this role of guiding them through the world.

Colin: 6:00

Your kiddos are at really interesting ages in the context of right now. So in addition to that 3, 4, 7, 8 being really interesting years, you also were having the toddler era pre- and during COVID. And. I'm curious, how have you seen differences come out in your parenting. At those really listen to three, four. I see it every day at work. I'm planning for it, myself, with my husband. That's rough years to parent. There's so much that is happening. That's cool. And you're learning a lot about your child and who they are, but also yourself. But layering in a pandemic on top of that. I'm curious, how did, how is that playing out with your daughters?

Yolanda: 6:48

It. It was rough initially, because again, I had these ideas of how things were going to work. I'm and were you working from home? So initially when the pandemic first started I actually, I was, I actually got a new job, like right at, literally right at the beginning of the pandemic and the company that I was working for Would not allow me to work from home when my oldest daughter was starting kindergarten. Okay. And because it was going to be virtual it's. going to be 100% virtual. And. I had no idea what I was going to do with that So I kept giving him different proposals of possible hybrid models. And he's I don't know. This was the craziest thing he says, I don't know, because I don't have kids.

Colin: 7:28

Interesting.

Yolanda: 7:30

And. I don't I'm like what? And he's I don't know. I have to ask someone who has kids with like, how could this work?

Colin: 7:36

work?

Yolanda: 7:37

And I said, so you're telling me you lack empathy is what you're telling me. It's still are you telling me because you don't have children and you couldn't understand or empathize what it might look like for someone with children to have to make this decision and have to work from home. And you just stared at me cause I don't think he ever had anyone to tell him that he lacked empathy and it made him really be. Really contemplative but that also let me know the fact that I even had to mention that. I had to make a decision. And I, it was a really serious conversation with me and my husband. Figuring out, okay, can we make this work with one salary at least temporarily? And when I asked my husband, he was like, okay you said you prayed about it. And I'm like, and he's what the heck are you asking me for? Do what you need to do. And so that's when I gave them a notice. And so I had, I ended up actually leaving my job and it was like six months into the pandemic. But the one really beautiful thing is a lot of the work and the people that I've been able to come in contact with. I was being contacted because there were so many projects and really cool things that were going on in the community and community with we're coming together. And they needed help and to be able to have someone to consult.

Colin: 8:43

and

Yolanda: 8:44

Someone who could be at this community liaison for them. And I was like, great. I can do that. And so I was able to do consulting. And so that was a plus because I could make my own schedule it and weave that in between whatever that looked like for school for my daughter. But it was really crazy being home. It was great. And seeing how my daughter worked. And my oldest daughter, while she was doing this whole kindergarten virtual thing. But then at the same time I have this really young toddler. Yeah. And who was also still nursing. And that actually, really delayed our are the weaning situation because I was there and I was always readily available. She got into this space where she was really used to having access to mom all the time and even access to dad. Cause my husband was working. too. He's working he was working in the basement. He had an office set up in the basement and was working and doing all this stuff from the basement. It was really interesting in this space that I think that kids typically start to learn how to be more independent, and, like in going to school in kindergarten or going to preschool or those types of things or learning the world around them. Like it's, I guess a to depends on if they're going to what. What type of preschool that they're going to and my community don't have it available unless it's more of a daycare Okay. If they're too but that really easy access to their parents and that was. Which I think as a society we've gotten used to the setup of school. And sending our kids away. But for a long time, our society has existed where kids did, children did stay at home and the learning happened right there. And, in the home, the learning happened from doing all of this in my mind, it was a space of I guess we're just, we're going back old school to how our ancestors used to do this, where we are learning how to do things at home. What sent you here. How about, we start learning some stuff in the kitchen, so you're going to help me make lunch and you're going to count out these grapes or you're going to, w how, if I can, if I cut your sandwich twice, how many pieces do you have there? And starting to do that instead of relying like having to rely on the external education.

Colin: 10:46

Do you

Yolanda: 10:46

feel

Colin: 10:46

that there is a difference in, attachment or connection that you have between your oldest daughter and your youngest who had different levels of accessibility to you? So now I get despite what parents are going to say. They have favorites. So what we'll put the favorites aside for a second. But I'm just thinking the sheer amount of access and the change that they may have had in how you connected or what you did or didn't see with your youngest compared to your oldest, just because now you're at home and your husband was at home It wasn't, The report from childcare or babysitter and grandma, whatever it is now, it's you seeing everything? Are you feeling the difference in connection? Yeah Oh Yeah.

Yolanda: 11:33

Absolutely. And so our, our oldest daughter had already had a full year and most of the school year before her school got shut down in preschool. And so she understood what it looked like of the going away and getting away from us and having friends and things like that. And the my youngest daughter. I was a little bit nervous when she did actually finally go to

Colin: 11:56

preschool this year, because she

Yolanda: 11:57

so used to having this access all the time and she would get that kind of, that separation anxiety kind of thing. Where she would... even if I'm just going to the bathroom, she's Where are you? mom? And she's like, searching the house. I'm like I just want to go number two. Like I just want some peace. And for half a second. And Absolutely. She has a lot, and I've just embraced it and I'm just like, you know what? This is my cuddle bug. Like This is my cuddle bug here. And so if I'm watching TV, like absolutely all up in my personal space, but. But I do know a lot of that has been when she come to recognize the world around her was during this time where we didn't go anywhere. We didn't do anything.

Colin: 12:36

There wasn't a world around her, honestly. It was the however many walls. of your home. Exactly.

Yolanda: 12:41

And and I, because I know that that's the age around that two years old, you're like, oh, they're people and things. And these people are different from me or these people are the same as me. And there's a place that I go to over here. And these are people that I that are my size. And as you're starting to wreck and there was none of that recognition, it made it really difficult. And so we ended up realizing I'm like this kid needs some socialization. Like we started looking at some of our friends who moved the same way that we did through the pandemic and was like, okay, these folks have similar values to us when it comes to how they move through the world. And so then we're like, okay, I feel safe around having

Colin: 13:19

play with these

Yolanda: 13:20

And so we have like our little bubble pod of kids And so that that was hugely helpful where I'm like, okay, I can get at least a moment.

Colin: 13:27

No way.

Yolanda: 13:28

Because sometimes as I'm having my doing my consulting stuff, I hear her like banging on the door and screaming like sobbing and just whole entire meltdown because she was looking for me. She couldn't find me, and then she this anxiety because you're always here

Colin: 13:44

yeah.

Yolanda: 13:45

Why are you not here? That's not right.

Colin: 13:48

How does that play on for you that balance between self and I think sometimes when this question is asked, we forget the self aspect of it, and then mother, which are all facets of your identity. I think facets that you hold highly for yourself, that you identify with. How has that particular with your second and that the difference. And maybe what you were expecting going into your second child compared to the first, obviously no one saw a pandemic coming, but when you have the bang on the door, How do you balance that? Do you respond right away then how does that make you feel as a professional? How does it make you feel that you can't even use the restroom without your kiddo trying to tag along, but then also this desire to be a caretaker and be there for her or not?

Yolanda: 14:38

I'm still trying to figure out today.

Colin: 14:40

That's

Yolanda: 14:40

I was just like, I'm going to be all the way real. I'm still trying to figure it out today. And. But for me, one of the places where I was one of the things I will say I've seen overall with the pandemic is in a not in all places, but in some places I've seen that there is, there has been this space. And one of two things have happened with the

Colin: 15:01

blurring of personal and professional is

Yolanda: 15:04

that either. It allowed folks to be able to come into their roles as their whole selves. Not pretending that whatever is going on outside of the realm of work doesn't exist and that they have to show up, as this professional person, but it's all of those things and they get to show up with this. And it's beautiful because all of these things outside of work helps to guide the work that they're doing in that organization. Being a parent, you learn a lot of skills, like time management skills and prioritization and all of these things that you're totally bringing into that professional space. So to pretend like that parent version none of you. Doesn't exist. This kind of crazy. Even though that's what, that's the world that we live in that that we used to live in. And so I've seen organizations shift to that space where folks can show up as their whole selves and bring all of that. If they're tired or whatever. We can work through it and we'll figure it out, but they give grace. And then I'm also seeing this other space of, because of the blurring of professional and personal, that they try to seek some of that professional into the personal time and that folks are supposed to be accessible. all around the clock. Because, oh if I'm allowing you some of this personal time during professional time, then you need to allow some of this professional time and your personal space. And I'm like no. And so there's, I've seen it, I've seen it shift in, in one of those two ways. For me, it was really this space of I'm going to go all in because I was very much this trying to cut and make two very distinct. And to your point, like that self part. Didn't really, it fades, it faded away a little bit. And so I was hardcore like either I was a parent or I was a professional. And it was very, the two very separate spaces. And through the pandemic, it allowed me this space to I'm going to bring all of it. And yep. You're going to hear about my kids. If you don't want to, then you know what, don't talk to me and I'm fine with that. If you avoid me in the hallway, that's totally fine because you were totally going to hear about whatever Cooper's got going, or whatever Charlie has got going on. All of the things because those are also things that are informing how I'm doing this work. So Like when I'm in interacting with them. Around like girl Scouts or something, and I'm talking with other parents. The conversations that I'm having with those other parents are watching these kids do we're watching their interests. That's informing the work that I'm doing and saying,

Colin: 17:24

if these kids

Yolanda: 17:25

are interested, And this approach, then maybe this is a better way that I can do my job, because this is what's interesting, and interesting to young people nowadays. And so for me, I've leaned totally into it. And it's allowed me this space that says if a, if an organization or a company. Is not okay. If they were not okay with me bringing my whole self, then that's not where I want to be. And that's not where I need to be. And that's I've totally leaned into that where I'm like, if you can't take this Yolanda. It ain't for

Colin: 17:56

And I think that's actually one of the. Frankly, awesome things that happened over the course

Yolanda: 18:00

of the pandemic,

Colin: 18:01

which is we don't have to pick. Which side we want to play anymore. In terms of you don't have to fully be professional all the time. You don't have to only be parent. And I think. Something that I'm hoping is happening around tables. Cause I know it's happening around the table at my house is. Being. Okay. Talking about like my I really sucked today. And I know my phone is vibrating right now and it's because that's another work email and that's gonna, I'm might snap at you and it's not because you did anything. It's because I just saw my phone light up and I know there are now three more things going on. And then you layer in. Kids and extended family. For you, I'm assuming there's still family around cousins and everything else. You're still in your hometown. There's just so much that. Ads in and compounds together. And I think despite all the weird change that we're still navigating and the workplace and at home, but the pandemic we're finally at a place where we can all say, you know what? Hold on. Let's rewrite the script a little bit. And hopefully that's what we're able to do here a little bit with circle time for parents and teachers is help rewrite some of that script.

Yolanda: 19:08

Absolutely. I definitely hope so.

Colin: 19:10

Yeah. So as we Close out episode one, because I know we have some really cool conversations coming up that we're going to do. I wanted to go through. And a lightning round, as much as we can. Some of your favorites or your kiddos favorites in terms of watch, play, read, So I'm just going to ask you some questions and whenever a answer pops up, we'll go with, and if you don't have one, I think that's fine to say you don't have one either. Okay.

Yolanda: 19:39

Sure.

Colin: 19:40

Let's start with an easy one favorite book.

Yolanda: 19:44

My favorite book.

Colin: 19:46

It's got a favorite book, three

Yolanda: 19:47

with the kiddos. Let's see. Light in the attic. by Shel Silverstein. thing

Colin: 19:52

to watch with the kiddos.

Yolanda: 19:54

hands down, bluey.

Colin: 19:55

We're going to do a whole episode on blue. Blue is my favorite. Yeah we'll do a whole, we'll do a whole deep dive

Yolanda: 20:01

Listen my husband tries to get the kids don't you want to watch bluey because he wants to

Colin: 20:06

Louise a show for parents. Bluey is not a show for kids that even though it's an animated dog about. Australian cattle

Yolanda: 20:12

Yeah.

Colin: 20:12

We'll talk all about What is your favorite childhood

Yolanda: 20:16

That's really tough. I. I'm blessed to have quite a few childhood memories. I'm like, man. Jeez.

Colin: 20:25

The first

Yolanda: 20:25

thing that comes That I would enjoy. I have a lot of siblings. I'm the youngest of eight. So I have four sisters and three brothers. And way back in the day. Cause I grew up in the eighties, my dad had a conversion van. It was, as you would probably imagine it was ugly and several shades of brown. With orange trim and stuff. But it was cool cause I had a TV inside, but we would, my dad like wrangle all of the kids. So we were a blended family. I will say that we're a blended family. So both my parents were married before they got Together. And so I was the only child between my parents But we, he went like wrangle the kids we would get in this conversion van. And then we would drive down. My dad is from North Carolina and we would drive down to my grandma lives, his house. And so that was always. like a good time. She had all of these, like really. weird and interesting nooks and crannies in her house. Of like hiding spaces. and you would find cool. Old things in there Weird figurines and maybe some herbs that she was dry in that were hanging up in her pantry and just. All kinds of really cool things. So it was probably one of my favorite memories.

Colin: 21:33

That's awesome. What about a favorite game to play with

Yolanda: 21:39

Oh, This is going to go back to two bluey. Which is so terrible. Let's keep you happy. Not keep you happy. But they love playing. What's the time Mrs. Wolf. That is our jam. Yeah, I love playing that because I love We are very touchy feely. We also are really like and It's really important for us to have consent. And so even when we do play like that and tickling and stuff like that, If she says okay, I'm done. I'm like, Okay. Cause She'll my youngest, especially she'll say, it's my body. And. I'm like, you're right. You're right.

Colin: 22:09

Okay

Yolanda: 22:09

But we will, we'll play what's the time Mrs. Wolf. And then when I catch him, then we tickle and it's a whole thing.

Colin: 22:14

That's awesome. Favorite song to dance to with the kiddos.

Yolanda: 22:17

So one of their favorite movies is sing too. If you don't know. That soundtrack. hits it. Like it goes so hard.

Colin: 22:26

Is that the J-Lo the one that's done by Jayla? The soundtrack. Okay

Yolanda: 22:30

I don't know. I'm not sure, but. The soundtrack goes really hard, but there's a song. Swelled that day. And they, I don't know why, but. They love that song. And it's there's a dance sequence in the movie. And so they'll go up and Hey Google, cause we have a Google home. Hey, Google. play swell that day. And so they'll play that song and. We go to

Colin: 22:51

But last one, I have what's one family member, family memory, or tradition that you hope your girls take forward.

Yolanda: 22:58

My mom's family is from the Caribbean and central America. And one of the things that we do hold on to. As a tradition as we do, we have a non and we have this huge dinner. At my brother and his husband's house. And now, because I have really young children, it shifted to my house because I have a lot less breakable things. And but I would love for them to be able

Colin: 23:23

to

Yolanda: 23:23

that on. For them to be able to, cook the dinner. And for us to

Colin: 23:27

be able to get her

Yolanda: 23:28

when they get old enough and have their own place or whatever, for one of them to carry that on. I think it would be super awesome.

Colin: 23:33

That would be awesome. Yolanda. We have so much more that we're going to talk about over the season, but I'm super excited to have you so thank you for joining along for the ride. And I look forward to

Yolanda: 23:43

Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm so excited.

Colin: 23:46

thank you for joining another episode of Circle Time. We hope that our discussion it made the first five years. Just a little bit easier. Be sure to check the show notes for additional tips and tricks and subscribe to Circle Time on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Circle Time is a product of SproutFive, a nonprofit that since 1922 has been working to reimagine early education. You can learn more about our work and our mission at sproutfive.org. We can't wait to see you in the next episode.